Writer: Life sucks.
American writer: Why aren’t you rich yet?
British writer: Has the Queen noticed you yet?
German writer: How many people die in it?
Italian writer: Is it about love?
French writer: Writing does not exist.
Canadian writer: I don’t want to talk about my writing.
Mexican writer: I want to go for a swim.
South African writer: Don’t come near me.
Nigerian writer: Yes, please, I am a Nigerian writer.
Irish writer: What do you want?
Scottish writer: Die!
Spanish writer: It is a long story.
Alaskan writer: I’m dying.
Chinese writer: This thing I do, it is not really writing.
Japanese writer: I should not begin.
Korean writer: You know Korea?
Persian writer: It is a sad story.
Iraqi writer: I will begin at the beginning.
Jewish writer: Oy!
Cornish writer: These spirits demand sacrifice.
Austrian writer: No I am not a German writer.
Turkish writer: I write in stone.
Egyptian writer: How much are going to pay me?
Greek writer: Who are you?
Serbian writer: I don’t want to talk about it.
Russian writer: It is winter.
Swedish writer: Please don’t.
Norwegian writer: Yes.
Finnish writer: Well, if you insist.
Danish writer: I keep my ink cold.
Polish writer: The gods fly over my head.
Mongolian writer: Ai!
Vietnamese writer: Now I will begin.
Cambodian writer: You like writing?
Australian writer: It’s not what you think.
Tasmanian writer: I am lost.
Kiwi writer: I might slip.
Hawaiian writer: Ha ha ha!
California writer: You got it.
New York writer: Tell me about it.
Texas writer: Fuck you.
Mississippi writer: I’m tired.
Puerto Rican writer: What am I doing here?
Dominican Republic writer: You forgot.
Haitian writer: I am remembering.
Florida writer: Fuck your mother!
New Jersey writer: Not now.
Minnesota writer: . . .
Boston writer: Get out of here.
Maine writer: Let’s go for a swim.
Iceland writer: I shall sit for a spell.
Native American writer: You don’t want to hear about it.
Indian writer: I am not really a writer.
Pakistani writer: Listen to me!
Sri Lankan writer: Things are happening again.
Saudi writer: I forget.
Somali writer: Let me tell you all about it.
Palestinian writer: These things go in circles.
Lebanese writer: Have a drink.
Albanian writer: Who, us?
Portuguese writer: I love you.
Moroccan writer: I love you back.
Cuban writer: Now things are ending.
Jamaican writer: I thought you might come over.
American writer: I am the only writer that exists.
Canadian writer: It’s not so bad.
Mexican writer: Death is god.
Swedish writer: Don’t talk about god.
Norwegian writer: I saw god one time.
Greenland writer: It was us!
Iceland writer: Ha ha ha!
American writer: When will I be famous?
Greek writer: Ha ha ha!
Italian writer: What’s so funny?
Greek writer: Ha ha ha!
American writer: Ha ha ha!
Mexican writer: Ha ha ha!
American writer: It’s not funny.
Mexican writer: Yes it is.
Canadian writer: Ha ha ha!
Russian writer: One must make allowances for these things.
Ukrainian writer: Ha ha ha!
Mongolian writer: Ha ha ha!
Chinese writer: Ha ha ha!
Japanese writer: I understand, it is funny.
Korean writer: Ha ha ha!
Australian writer: These natives, they can joke! Ha ha ha!
Aborigine writer: Ha ha ha! So can you. Ha ha ha!
Kiwi writer: Ha ha ha!
Maori writer: You think it’s funny?
Hawaiian writer: Ha ha ha!
Filipino writer: We love you.
American writer: We love you too.
Filipino writer: Not as much as we love you.
British writer: Oh, get over it.
Irish writer: Sure, tell them again.
Northern Irish writer: I have a book in my closet.
Irish writer: In your what?
Icelandic writer: He knows what to do with it.
Swedish writer: I can see that this will be important.
Ukrainian writer: Ha ha ha!
Russian writer: No.
Chinese writer: Ha ha ha!
Taiwanese writer: This is the sea.
Indonesian writer: I am about to speak.
Aborigine writer: These things are words.
Tasmanian writer: Is it really necessary?
Kiwi writer: Please.
California writer: We’ll give it to you if you want.
British writer: Oh, come on.
California writer: No, really.
Mexican writer: I have arrived.
Basque writer: I have not!
French writer: Perhaps I should sing.
Swiss writer: Or not.
Hungarian writer: La la la la la!
Romanian writer: Shut UP!
Bulgarian writer: Hush, I’m writing.
Montenegro writer: Oh, this writing.
Czech writer: You are already in my story.
Polish writer: I knew it.
German writer: What?
Dutch writer: They’re telling you you’re an idiot.
German writer: But I am an idiot.
Dutch writer: Ha ha ha!
British writer: What are they laughing about this time?
Welsh writer: My food.
English writer: If you insist.
Welsh writer: I do.
Scottish writer: Or maybe you don’t.
Icelandic writer: I’m pretty sure he does.
Scottish writer: Ha ha ha!
Greenland writer: I have a dream.
Inuit writer: This is the beginning.
Alaskan writer: Not again!
Kenyan writer: It’s about time.
