by Paul Beckman
Strickland always wanted to be with a Jewish girl. All his
friends told him that they were easy and would do anything-especially for a gentile.
Unfortunately, Strickland had no redeeming physical or social features so he
could never get a date with anyone, much less a Jewish girl.
On his eighteenth birthday he decided to give himself a Jew as a gift and
planned a kidnapping. There wasn't much planning. He drove over to the west
side of town and when he recognized a Jewish girl from school he put on a
George W. Bush mask and pulled up besides her on the street.
Pulling a Swiss Army Knife (corkscrew showing), he rolled down the window
and said, "Get in the car."
"Hey, Strickland," she laughed, "What a joker," and continued on her way to
her date with a gentile boy from the school newspaper who'd been having his way with her for months.