Having survived a peremptory legal challenge and being banned from a university server within the first two weeks of our existence, the Los Angeles Review of Los Angeles suspects it's doing something right.

Go ahead, suck on our balls.

Just kidding. No really, it's okay if you want to suck on them. And they really do love it. As balls go, they're good. Definitely. And it's okay to have great balls. That's why we here at the Los Angeles Review of Los Angeles created the Los Angeles Review of Los Angeles: because fairies die every time you say "young adult commercial fiction." The fairies need our help. Like us, they want literature to read. Not shit.

There are other reviews named Los Angeles. But they don't give a shit about Los Angeles like we do. They don't understand Los Angeles. We understand Los Angeles. We may be newcomers, but we've been around the block a time or two, and this is what we want to say to you all out there:

Fuck you. Fuck your momma. We don't give a shit who are you or what you're worth or what god you worship, we only care if you're going to suck on our balls.

Welcome to Los Angeles. And welcome to the Los America Review of United Angeles, that is, the Los Angeles America Review of Angeles. Well anyway. Jew or Gentile, we're gonna fuck you up. That's the thing about misanthropy: we include everyone.

In brief, we have noticed no one writes much about LA. How come? Well, people in this town are busy writing screenplays and stuff, we know. And trying to get laid in this town. Or even, trying to get laid in this town when you're a writer and broke. Hey, our hearts go out to you. In that spirit, of hearts moving around and sucking balls, we bring you this review of our fair city, not by the bay, not on the Hudson, but settled by some Chumash and then improbably turned into a horrific sprawling monster of a water-stealing megalopolis that inspired a nation and just happened to save the life of a lovable little biracial blonde girl named Jamila, no wait, that's another movie.

We bring you the Los Angeles Review of Los Angeles.

Send us your writing.

Robin Wyatt Dunn

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